Friendster strikes back...

Seriously guys, I'm not really sure how picking up thirdhand information off of friendster became my only way of knowing what's going on in Kristin's life, but it did, and now I have to decide why I'm even keeping up with it. Morbid curiosity? Well, I am curious, but not morbidly so. Not even overly so. Gluttony for punishment? Anyone who knows me knows that that is not even close to the case. Pathetic attachment issues? Those were all settled a long time ago.

No, I just wanted to keep in touch, stay on the radar, so to speak. Although she seems determined to erase me from her life and I can't even comprehend why. I mean, when we were dating, she would talk to her xbf once a month, maybe a couple times. I'm not even close to that. Trouble is, no kind of satisfactory resolution can come from someone who won't even acknowledge what is or was really going on. All it can be is just telling the sky, or the rain, and accept that there is no response, no answer for the questions I've got. Not now.

Just taking my testimonial off of her profile just absolutely stunned me. It was worse than seeing that she's in a relationship. I mean, I expected that on some level, it was inevitable. But to just delete the most sincere and heartfelt expression of how I feel about her as a person, and a friend... it's kind of the breaking point. I don't know how to not take it so personally. I don't know how else to take it except as a simple message that I'm not a part of her life anymore, and shouldn't try to be.

It hurts beneath my left collarbone, and along my rib cage. There's something up in there that really doesn't like this at all.

So, there's really only one phone call left to make. A quick one. It shouldn't take long for me to say what I have to say. And if what friendster is telling me is correct, then there won't be anything much from her to hear. You don't talk to ghosts.